Endless Sacrifice
by Tarafina
Summary: Dean straddles the line between wanting to hunt or letting the sawed off rust as he finds contentment in his wife and son.


**Title**: Constant Compromise (Endless Sacrifice)  
**Category**: Smallville/Supernatural  
**Genre**: Drama/Family  
**Ship**: Chloe/Dean  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Prompt**: Sacrifice by summerpipedream (Tumblr)  
**Word** **Count**: 1,936  
**Summary**: Dean straddles the line between wanting to hunt or letting the sawed off rust as he finds contentment in his wife and son.

**_Constant Compromise (Endless Sacrifice)_**  
-1/1-

Dean was mid-laugh, wrinkles fanning from the corners of his eyes; he dragged a hand down his mouth, scratching at the faint whiskers on his chin, a beer balanced on his knee, when the phone rang, drawing his attention.

He got up from his seat on his favorite armchair and made his way to the kitchen, pausing to tickle his son's neck, grinning as the baby cooed up at him.

He grabbed up the phone and slid it into the cradle of his shoulder. "Hello?"

"Hey, Dean, it's me."

"Sammy," he said, brightly. He glanced at the clock. "Little late for you, innit?"

"Yeah, a little. Listen… I'm going _hunting_ this weekend… Thought it could be a good bonding experience," Sam said cryptically.

Dean's face fell and he turned, gripping the phone tighter. "I gave that up, remember? Went vegetarian…" he muttered.

He sighed. "It's the right season for it… But I could use some help."

His jaw ticked and he licked his lips, turning his head. Chloe lifted Jason up into the air and pretended to bite at his dangling toes. He giggled, curling his feet up closer to him before smiling down at his mom and reaching a foot out for her to do it again. Laughing, she brought him down and rubbed her face on his belly before blowing a raspberry against his bare skin. Jason squirmed, laughing happily, freely.

"Can't do it," he told Sam. "I've got priorities now… Hunting's out."

"Dean… I… I get it. I get that you need to be there. But—"

"I've got a six month old son to worry about, Sam, I can't risk my neck right now," he sighed, running a hand through his hair, tugging on it as a war broke out over his loyalty.

"Chloe would understand," he tried. "She knows what this means; she'd get it."

Frustration built up in his chest. "Yeah? And what about next time or the time after that?" His brow furrowed. "I go now, I'll go every time… And then one day my kid's gonna ask Chloe or _you_, where the hell I am and why I left him." He shook his head. "And you're gonna say I had to go save some Average Joe's life, that it was the right thing to do, and he's gonna get bitter and pissed, 'cause why the hell did some stranger matter more than him, huh?"

Sam was quiet for a long moment. "We make sacrifices, Dean… Knowing what we know, doing what we do…"

"I paid my dues," he said through gritted teeth. "I paid with _blood_; mine and everybody around me… The target on my back is big enough. It's hard as it is, makin' sure me, Chloe, and Jason aren't on some demon bitch's radar and now you want to add another monster to the pile…?" His brow furrowed tightly. "I won't sacrifice this… Not this, Sam." His hand fisted as he rested it on the countertop and leaned into it. "Took me too long to hang up the sawed-off, I won't pick it back up, not when everything's finally making sense."

"What am I supposed to do then, huh? After everything? You think I can just hang it up now? I don't have a Chloe of my own to fall back on, Dean!"

"Then find one… Just—" He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. "Take some time, get your head on straight, leave the gun in someone else's hands for a while…" He shook his head. "Sam, we've been doing this since we were in diapers, don't you think we deserve this?"

He turned his eyes back to his wife and watched as Chloe bent to rub her nose against Jason's who tangled his fingers tight in her hair. She winced at the grip but then smiled at their son and smoothed her hand over his soft sandy brown hair, kissing his temple.

"We got a spare bedroom here, and you know you're always welcome… But I'm done with hunting. I _have _to be…"

There was a long pause before, "Okay… I get it… I'll call someone else in, finish the job up and then, yeah, I don't know, maybe I'll take you up on it, come out and visit… How big's he getting?"

"Big," Dean said, grinning proudly. "You should see him, he's a character."

Sam laughed. "I'll call before I head down that way."

"Great. And, uh…" He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just… just be careful, all right?"

"Been doing this since we were in diapers, remember?" he returned lightheartedly.

"Yeah…" He nodded. "_Yeah_."

After they hung, he dropped the phone back to the cradle and stared at it.

Jason gave a loud , excited squeal and Dean was pulled from his thoughts. He walked back into the living room and smiled as Chloe handed Jason up to him.

"Hey, buddy," he said, cradling him in his arm.

Jason babbled at him, nonsense and gurgling mostly.

Chloe climbed from the floor, using his free hand for balanced, and smiled, smoothing her hand over Jason's hair. "He's always so talkative with you… It's like he's trying to share his wisdom."

"Yeah?" He quirked an eyebrow. "Barkin' up the wrong tree, little man… Your mom's the one who informs the masses."

She hummed, leaning into his side, head on his shoulder. "Sam?" she said, less of a question and more of a statement.

"Yeah…" He nodded, rocking Jason in his arm. "Got a job, wanted a hand."

"But you're not going."

He glanced at her. "I got too much at stake to go chasing monsters."

She peered up at him. "But you want to."

He licked his lips. "I don't know," he said honestly. Shaking his head, he flashed his eyebrows. "Some days I think I hung up the gun for good, others I think there's no such thing as retirement…" He shrugged. "Today's one of those days."

"You could go," she told him, reaching down to tickle her fingers over Jason's chest. "It's not just any job… This is helping _Sam _out…" She looked up at him. "If you don't go and he gets hurt, you'll never stop beating yourself up over it."

He ground his teeth. "I know…" He dropped his eyes down to their son, who was getting sleepier, his babbling coming to an end. "But I promised you when you got pregnant that I'd be here for you and for him… I don't wanna be like my dad; I don't want to leave him wondering if I'm ever coming home… I wanna see him grow up…" He turned to her. "I spent my whole life hunting and in the end, all I got was a promise that my job would never really end… So I traded up and I found you." He stared at her seriously. "You and Jason, Chloe, you're the only relief I've got after that and I'm not going to abandon it so I can chase after everything I'm trying to get away from."

"And I get that." She nodded, before tugging on his sleeve to get him to follow her down the hall to the nursery. "I just don't want us to be a regret if things don't go according to plan."

She leaned her hip against the crib as he laid Jason down inside, rubbing his thumb over his son's forehead and gazing at him for a long moment. She turned on the baby monitor before they left the room quietly and she took his hand, leading him down the hall to their bedroom.

They laid down on the bed, side by side, and she propped her head up on her arm against the pillow, turning to look at him. "I want you to be sure about this."

He nodded, licking his lips, brow furrowed. "Sam's gonna call someone else in, they'll smoke the bastard, and then he's heading out here to visit…" He turned his eyes to her. "I'm sure… My life isn't hunting anymore… My life is you. And Jason. And the shop…" He shook his head. "I fix cars and I come home to my hot wife and my amazing son…" He grinned at her. "That's what I want."

She sighed, lips twitching up into a smile, and slid across the bed to drop her head to his shoulder, her leg looping around his and her arm curving around his waist. Dean ducked his head to kiss her hair and closed his eyes.

"Nap time?" he asked.

She smiled against his chest. "I'm betting on an hour, two tops…"

"Bet you an apple pie he sleep for three," he said.

"Three?" She scoffed. "You're on." She laughed and rubbed her face against his chest as she settled in for a nap. "Either way you get pie."

He grinned. "Those are the breaks, sweetheart."

She chuckled lightly before it faded into a yawn.

He rubbed a hand down her back in soothing circles and stared up at the ceiling as he felt her fall asleep, relaxing against him. It didn't feel right, to turn Sam down, but at the same time he knew he wouldn't feel right the whole time he was on the road with him. Maybe he was still making sacrifices; Sammy for his son. Maybe sacrifices were all he'd ever make. But he reminded himself that Sam was coming down and maybe he'd 'retire' too… Maybe all the Winchesters could quit playing the martyr and find a way to be content and happy.

Dean found his salvation; he found his reward for all the blood and tears shed, the family and friends lost.

When he met Chloe, he was down on his luck, stuck between applying for a job at a mechanics shop and a hunting job three days drive away. She found him on his third slice of pie: "I'm pretty sure food for thought wasn't supposed to be taken so literally…" She raised an eyebrow. "You need an ear before you have to be forklifted into an ambulance?" she wondered.

He was lost from the get-go and it hadn't changed since. Four years later and they had a kid. _Him_. He was a _dad_. There were times it made him miss Ben; made him want to call him, see how he was doing, only to realize he couldn't. That Ben didn't remember him. So he did better with Jason; he made sure he was there for every milestone; ever burp, fart, and hiccup; every laugh, cry, smile, and frown. He was constantly amazed by how he and Chloe had made this amazing little guy who laughed so freely, untouched by the cruelty he'd seen in the world. He planned on keeping it that way.

Which meant no hunting; no slinking away in the dead of night and returning a week later without explanation. He was just going to be Dean, average Joe. A husband and a dad and a brother; nothing else but that.

Chloe sighed in her sleep and snuggled a little closer.

Dean ran his fingers through her hair and brushed them down her neck before letting his own eyes finally fall closed.

In a week, Sam would come to visit, hopefully stay, and life would go on. Other hunters would fill the big shoes they left behind and he would go on in the life he'd carved out, free of shadows. It wouldn't always be perfect and the call to fight would be loud some days, but he would remain, he would be happy, and he wouldn't sacrifice himself anymore.

[**End**.]


End file.
